Sarcasm: LOL

Showing posts with label LOL. Show all posts

200 BUCKS IT IS!

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

” Hi, is Tony home?”

” No, he went to the store.”

“Well, you mind if I wait?”

” No, come in.”

They sit down and the friend says “You know Nora; you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.”

Text Message Pranks

This is what you get when you send Prank messages to your girlfriend. Sending messages like this is not a good idea.

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.

She wants to know?

( . )( . ).. Well you've got to give her credit for trying! Wait until she finds out!

Asma from hospital

You'r true Pakistani if you recieve messages from Asma for share.

They'll Scratch Your Eyes Out

It's hard to tell when a kitten's playing around or actually bent on attacking you but either or explains the massive amount of cat scar photos on Tumblr. Seriously. Go look it up. Some of them are just horrifying.

They're Always Plotting To Kill You

Sure, they seem innocent on the outside, but moments like these make you wonder if they're playing mind games or actually plotting something sinister. In this case, nothing's scarier than a cat with shears.

They're Just Flat Out Dangerous

You may be super excited about your new workout regime which you can do at home, but they're not. They see it as a reason that they should start exercising and we all know that's one thing all cats despise!

They Hate Puzzles

In fact, they find them childish. To them, you should spend more time cuddling or feeding them than putting together small pieces of cardboard. To think of it, they may just have a point here...

They're Against Sleeping In

Cats don't have schedules as they can pretty much sleep any time of the day, but they're early risers. And we mean early. They'll sleep on your head, pounce on you and do almost anything to get you up at the crack of dawn.

Plants Are Their Sworn Enemies

Outdoor cats can sometimes be found chewing grass but it's only because they intend to destroy it. They hate anything that's green and demands more attention than them because from their perspective, they should be the only apple of your eye.

They'll Destroy Your Electronics

To be firm: cats will destroy anything that has a wire attached to it. Trying to plug in your iPhone? Good luck finding the charger. Trying to set up karaoke for the night? The actual microphone is probably laying in the litter box by now.

And They'll Sit On Your Computer

We'd imagine that sitting or laying across a laptop would be extremely uncomfortable but don't tell them that. They're attracted to making your life miserable, even it means indulging in an up close and personal view of your Facebook profile.

They're Secretly Alcoholics

Every dog has their day but every cat has their cold one. One of the main reasons they sleep all day is because they dig into your stash of alcohol when you're away. To them it's a temporary replacement for catnip.

They Hate Bath Time

Most of us enjoy baths but cats despise them. It makes them feel "naked" in a sense and if you're ever looking for a way to start your own "Grumpy Cat" Tumblr, just take photos of your own fur ball getting drowned in bubbles.